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Hi! If you’re new to the blog, first of all, welcome! This blog is where I share my personal journey as a newbie personal trainer and mom. I am on a fitness journey and I use this blog for my personal accountability along the way. You can learn how to start your own blog in this post.

goals for 2020
Finally feeling normal again. ๐Ÿ™‚

This post is the “start” of my journey right after having my second baby and it includes my uncomfortable before and after weight loss pics. Please note that this post may contain affiliate links.ย 

If you’ve been following along, you may have found yourself wondering when this post would come.

I talked about how excited I was to have my baby and get back on track with my weight loss. I wrote all of my goals and was constantly giving you blog and bump updates. I was so eager to get started out as a new personal trainer and just couldn’t wait to be cleared to work out again at 6-8 weeks postpartum.

But I have procrastinated so much in writing this post because things have not turned out as well as I’d hoped.

Yes, I’m going to share my “before” pictures in hopes that some day I have some incredible before and after weight loss pics. But just know two things if you plan to continue reading:

  1. This is super uncomfortable for me to share publicly – but I do it because I need accountability.
  2. Things have not gone as well as planned and I’m disappointed. If you want to know why, this post is gonna be a LONG venting session. ๐Ÿ™‚

So Much Excitement, Such Little Sleep

I thought about becoming a personal trainer for about two years before I actually purchased the course that would help me get certified. I’d gone through postpartum depression with my daughter and gained a lot of weight. I started going to the gym and after a lot of reflection, I realized that I really enjoyed my time working out. I also realized that as a depressive, I needed to exercise DAILY in order to keep my head out of the grey clouds. (Read more about me here.)

Anyway, I bought my six month course and started working on my personal training certification in early 2017. (If you want to read about becoming a personal trainer, you’ll want to read this post.)

Not long after, I found out I was pregnant with my second baby. I was a bit discouraged because I am that really, really sick pregnant person. I am that “lay-in-bed-all-day-only-getting-up-to-puke” person. I am that person getting hospitalized just to get fluids from all of the vomiting.

I tell you this to help you understand where my mind and body were as I was working on my certification. I worked hard but I felt like I couldn’t focus when I was studying. I felt like information was getting lost somewhere between my eyes and my brain.

So naturally, I failed my first attempt at getting certified as a personal trainer.

I cried and contemplated throwing in the towel completely. I’d never failed a test in my life. But I purchased a retest for three months after my first test, and buckled down again. I passed the second time at 7 months pregnant. (Click to read my tips for passing the NASM exam.)

I was like, “Yes! Finally!”

And it meant more to me than just passing a test. It meant that I would forever be accountable for my own health. It also meant that when I went back to work for the first time after nearly 5 years, I would have a qualification and clear career path.

Buttttt…my blog and my certification haven’t motivated me as much as I’d hoped.


I was so gung-ho about losing weight and working out again at 6-8 weeks pp. I was excited to take my before and after weight loss pics. But then my little boy had a sleep regression and I lost motivation. I also tried to run for 5 minutes straight and had severe hip/back pain for about 4 days.

The point is that I realized that my postpartum journey is going to be a LONG one and it’s already been tougher than expected. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I have a long way to go. I wrote a post about postpartum weight loss and I wasn’t taking my own advice – my expectations were too high.

I got so discouraged for awhile that I all but stopped doing everything. I decided to quit working on my blog for the rest of the month of March. Then my blog was down for almost 4 days, and I was questioning everything because I was so discouraged.

My mind was in, “I CAN’T” mode for a few WEEKS.

But here I am again.

And I know I have to make some changes to be easier on myself or I will run the risk of giving up completely. Because I know myself well enough to know my patterns.

Changes That I’m Making

Like I said, I know that I need to keep going. But I know that I have historically gone through cycles of quitting then reviving my fitness journey. I want to be done with that. I need to be consistent. I feel unhappy knowing that I have a long way to go but grateful that I am still young enough to get back on the right path and have a lot of life before me.

Ditching the Scale

I was weighing myself A LOT. I mean like every day. I was trying not to, but I was curious. That was taking a lot of mental toll. I’d hop on and be discouraged if I’d gained a little, or if nothing changed. Or I’d eat more if I’d lost weight, because I thought I had more leeway. In other words, I put way to much worth on that number.

So I decided that it needed to stop. Instead of weighing myself, I went and got an INBODY scan, which is a more comprehensive assessment of your body composition. I have decided to monitor my progress this way, since it tells me so much more than how much I weigh. (They actually make affordable high-tech scales that take these types of analyses and I thought about getting one but I know I’d still weigh myself too often.)

I am showing you my results from the first scan for accountability.

It’s cool because it tells me that even though I have a lot of fat, I am still quite muscular.

It also tells me where on my body my fat is concentrated.

The "before" of my before and after weight loss pics.

My results confirmed some things that I already know, and gave me some specific numbers that I’m eager to change. As you can see by the scan results, my legs are muscular, in the normal range for fat, and perfectly symmetrical. My arms are FLABBY, which I was aware of. I have been self-conscious about them my whole life. I also have a lot of extra fat in the upper body overall. This is partially due to just having a baby and since I am nursing, it’s hard to tell how much water and fat is just in my boobs.

Anyway, my body fat is HIGH but I’d already guestimated that it would be in this range. It’s at 33% and I need it to be at 24.9% or less to be “healthy” and I would really like it to be at about 18%.

Despite the fat however, from a medical perspective, I am healthy in a cardiovascular sense. I have a low resting heart rate and great blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc.

I am planning on going back for an INBODY scan every three months and trying not to step on the scale at all. I’m just hoping that the numbers will drop.

Changing My Goals

My workouts are suffering and I’ve decided to quit making such rigid goals for a bit longer.

They have changed to, “move more, eat better.” I know I could set realistic postpartum weight loss goals, but for now my only goals are to do better. And I know I can.

Postpartum recovery is different for everyone and different for each pregnancy. I know that now and I know that I need to allow myself a little more time to get super serious. Like until my boy is sleeping through the night. I know it might be 6 more months, but I also know that long-lasting changes can take at least that long anyway.

I have also discovered that I am TRULY addicted to sugar. I thought I could just ditch it but I find myself craving chocolate or something super sugary after dinner every night like clockwork. I’m going to start taking my Shakeology daily, because it’s supposed to help curb cravings.

If you’ve made it through this thought dump, thank you so much for reading. You are a big part of why I do this. I can’t wait to show you my complete 1-year postpartum before and after weight loss pics later on. ON TO THE PICS:

To give you perspective of what my body has gone through, here I am at 124 lbs and 21 years old, just a few months before getting married. (Almost 6 years ago.)


before and after weight loss pics

What about you? Where are you on your health journey? Do you have any before and after weight loss pics? Tell me about it below!

Thank you for taking a look at my “before” of my before and after weight loss pics! Here are some other posts you might like: